Love, American Style

[beetiger]

Dear readers and constituents:

President Bush has declared next week Marriage Protection Week, and has called upon the American People "to observe this week with appropriate programs, activities, and ceremonies". As I am of course a patriot and and environmentalist to boot, after long consideration (or at least a two minute conversation as I was walking out the door this morning), bard_bloom and I have decided to expand the mission of Chez Gargoyle Surrealist Cuisine, Bed and Breakfast, and Wildlife Refuge to include a Marriage Preserve.

As a core part of this new function, and because you are all super-cool in a variety of ways, I'd like to propose marriage to you. All of you. Marriages will expire on October 18th (the end of Georgie's proclamation period) unless otherwise arranged. We're a little more progressive than the Bush administration here, so number, gender, species, or orientation aren't an issue. Please leave a comment detailing your love for me and/or bard_bloom if you are interested.

Alternatively, if you are already married and would like our support, please send a sample of the love and devotion between you and your spouse(s) to Chez Gargoyle (along with $5 shipping and handling fee), and I will preserve it in a matrix of apple jelly as a lifelong memorial or tasty breakfast spread.

Yours in love,
The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger

Comments

[lediva.livejournal.com]

Zowie! I love all God's creatures, especially the tasty ones!

I'm just not sure I can afford the alimony! I expect to be kept in the lifestyle to which I am accustomed! Also, I get the comfy side of the fold-out couch on the honeymoon!

Also, can I pre-emptively request a trial separation of Pat Robertson? Yes, of. I want to see him separated into many bite-sized pieces.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

Woohoo! I am delighted to accept. While we're at it, we should all make plans to move to Canada and start a solar geodesic P2P hemp farm or something.

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

I might be able to take on one more partner, but surely not two... So Bard, Bee, will your respective left-half and right-half give me their respective hands in marriage? It'll be great, your other halves can give you away at the wedding!

[redbird]

I love you both, and would like to marry you, if you can handle the number of other spice I have for that period (including such wondrous people as cattitude, browngirl, roadnotes, and lysana).

[secanth.livejournal.com]

Well, of course I accept. Both of you are much cared about by me, and seems an elegant solution for all concerned. So when do we move? (grin)

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

By the Power Invested in Me by the Holy "Frop" smoking in the Pipe of J. R. "BoB" Dobbs, what has declared me Pope, so treat me right,

And due to Our President's words that Marriage Must Be Protected, which I, in My Wisdom interpret as There Ain't 'Nuff Marriage Goin' On,

I declare all Men, Women, Neuters, and cute horses to be MARRIED for the Marriage Protection Week from October 12 through October 18 in Whatever Combinations, Permutations, and Logarithms they find Most Desirable.

In Witness Thereof, I lick the screen.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

You realize, of course, this makes you engaged to Lysana as well.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

So I noticed. Well, that's fine with me! I don't know her, but obviously she and I are thinking along the same lines, so we must have something in common. (Besides some cool friends, I mean.)

[cowboy-r.livejournal.com]

(Sam the Eagle voice on)

You people are all sick.

(Sam the Eagle voice off)

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

No! I value my independance!

Thanks tho.

[rowyn]

Aw, c'mon, it's only for a week! It'll be fun!

:)

[read-alicia.livejournal.com]

I think my book and my spiritual guides and my needy apartment would get jealous if I married anyone else, but thanks for the invitation :)
-Sage-Rose

[m0nkeygrl.livejournal.com]

I'll marry both of you.

"I do." ;)

WOOHOO!!

[lmacleod.livejournal.com]

I knew after attending my first ever wedding this weekend that I'd hit the lottery so to speak! Yes yes! Happy days are here again!

Wait, what do ya mean only until the 18th?

Bah... Just as I spent time re-arranging the apartment!

[fourprint.livejournal.com]

Hm. Are non-Americans permitted? I'd dearly love to accept, on behalf of myself, my (US-born!) boyfriend, our two roommates and our five cats.

Plans for the solar hemp farm are most definitely in the works.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

I'm married to Bee. You're married to Bee. Are we all by extension married to each other? Kewl!
Anyway, I was trying to string together as many new-agey terms as I could, but upon further consideration, I guess most farms, hemp or otherwise, are solar. Except for the ones the Canadian government grows its dope in, which are apparently two miles down the shaft of an _arsenic mine_ o.O

[fourprint.livejournal.com]

:D

Of course! Can't let those medicinal marijuana recipients get too healthy!

[melskunk.livejournal.com]

I don't know, after all the trouble of my first wedding, I'd rather just stay indefinately engaged :)

[ahiruko.livejournal.com]

I'd love to, but I'm already married to three other people. I got married once in fourth grade out behind the gym, one in sixth grade under the big tree, and once forcibly to the toughest girl in the grade.

Some might doubt the legality of these commitments, considering that they were lesbian marriages between minors officiated by hall monitors, but if marriage is in such a sorry state as to need preservation ...

[camstone.livejournal.com]

Only if I get prenuptual custody of the Kuzinart after our divorce!

[waterotter.livejournal.com]

Do you think we can make a long distance marriage work?

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

Sounds good to me. As long as I get to be one of the ones in the frilly femmy wedding dresses instead of the boring groom suits at the ceremony!

I love you both for eternity. Or for the next week or so. Whichever comes first.

<3

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

Ooo! I don't even know you, but can I marry you too? I can cook! I make a pretty mean pot of boiling water, if I do say so myself.

[rowyn]

I accept! Whee! That makes me also married to Postrodent and Bard Bloom and Postvixen and, um, a bunch of other people I don't know. But you love them so I love them, so that's okay.

I always wanted to be part of a group marriage. Yay! I'll have to decide on what to do for the wedding present, now ....

The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger

[acertaindoebear.livejournal.com]

Two words:

Trust Fund

-:)

Re: The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger

[paraselene.livejournal.com]

in the doebear we trust.

Being handfasted to the Doebear, I do proffer....

Several words:

Redheaded Sex Goddess

[bookwurm.livejournal.com]

[giggle] I like it! Will you expect child-support for the Moth, or will suitable spoiling when we see you next be sufficient?

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

Only moral support is required. :)