Love, American Style
Oct. 7th, 2003 09:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beetigerDear readers and constituents:
President Bush has declared next week Marriage Protection Week, and has called upon the American People "to observe this week with appropriate programs, activities, and ceremonies". As I am of course a patriot and and environmentalist to boot, after long consideration (or at least a two minute conversation as I was walking out the door this morning),![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bard_bloom and I have decided to expand the mission of Chez Gargoyle Surrealist Cuisine, Bed and Breakfast, and Wildlife Refuge to include a Marriage Preserve.
As a core part of this new function, and because you are all super-cool in a variety of ways, I'd like to propose marriage to you. All of you. Marriages will expire on October 18th (the end of Georgie's proclamation period) unless otherwise arranged. We're a little more progressive than the Bush administration here, so number, gender, species, or orientation aren't an issue. Please leave a comment detailing your love for me and/orbard_bloom if you are interested.
Alternatively, if you are already married and would like our support, please send a sample of the love and devotion between you and your spouse(s) to Chez Gargoyle (along with $5 shipping and handling fee), and I will preserve it in a matrix of apple jelly as a lifelong memorial or tasty breakfast spread.
Yours in love,
The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger
President Bush has declared next week Marriage Protection Week, and has called upon the American People "to observe this week with appropriate programs, activities, and ceremonies". As I am of course a patriot and and environmentalist to boot, after long consideration (or at least a two minute conversation as I was walking out the door this morning),
bard_bloom and I have decided to expand the mission of Chez Gargoyle Surrealist Cuisine, Bed and Breakfast, and Wildlife Refuge to include a Marriage Preserve.As a core part of this new function, and because you are all super-cool in a variety of ways, I'd like to propose marriage to you. All of you. Marriages will expire on October 18th (the end of Georgie's proclamation period) unless otherwise arranged. We're a little more progressive than the Bush administration here, so number, gender, species, or orientation aren't an issue. Please leave a comment detailing your love for me and/or
bard_bloom if you are interested.Alternatively, if you are already married and would like our support, please send a sample of the love and devotion between you and your spouse(s) to Chez Gargoyle (along with $5 shipping and handling fee), and I will preserve it in a matrix of apple jelly as a lifelong memorial or tasty breakfast spread.
Yours in love,
The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:02 am (UTC)I'm just not sure I can afford the alimony! I expect to be kept in the lifestyle to which I am accustomed! Also, I get the comfy side of the fold-out couch on the honeymoon!
Also, can I pre-emptively request a trial separation of Pat Robertson? Yes, of. I want to see him separated into many bite-sized pieces.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 07:51 am (UTC)And due to Our President's words that Marriage Must Be Protected, which I, in My Wisdom interpret as There Ain't 'Nuff Marriage Goin' On,
I declare all Men, Women, Neuters, and cute horses to be MARRIED for the Marriage Protection Week from October 12 through October 18 in Whatever Combinations, Permutations, and Logarithms they find Most Desirable.
In Witness Thereof, I lick the screen.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 08:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 08:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 08:29 am (UTC)You people are all sick.
(Sam the Eagle voice off)
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Date: 2003-10-07 08:51 am (UTC)Thanks tho.
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Date: 2003-10-07 09:02 am (UTC)-Sage-Rose
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 09:10 am (UTC)"I do." ;)
WOOHOO!!
Date: 2003-10-07 09:23 am (UTC)Wait, what do ya mean only until the 18th?
Bah... Just as I spent time re-arranging the apartment!
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 09:44 am (UTC)Plans for the solar hemp farm are most definitely in the works.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 09:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 11:02 am (UTC)Anyway, I was trying to string together as many new-agey terms as I could, but upon further consideration, I guess most farms, hemp or otherwise, are solar. Except for the ones the Canadian government grows its dope in, which are apparently two miles down the shaft of an _arsenic mine_ o.O
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 12:08 pm (UTC)Some might doubt the legality of these commitments, considering that they were lesbian marriages between minors officiated by hall monitors, but if marriage is in such a sorry state as to need preservation ...
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Date: 2003-10-07 12:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 12:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 02:25 pm (UTC)Of course! Can't let those medicinal marijuana recipients get too healthy!
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Date: 2003-10-07 02:26 pm (UTC)I love you both for eternity. Or for the next week or so. Whichever comes first.
<3
no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-07 04:48 pm (UTC)I always wanted to be part of a group marriage. Yay! I'll have to decide on what to do for the wedding present, now ....
The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger
Date: 2003-10-08 03:11 pm (UTC)Trust Fund
-:)
no subject
Date: 2003-10-08 07:12 pm (UTC):)
Re: The Most Reverend Bumblebee T. Tiger
Date: 2003-10-09 03:38 pm (UTC)Being handfasted to the Doebear, I do proffer....
Several words:
Redheaded Sex Goddess
no subject
Date: 2003-10-10 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-10 11:22 am (UTC)