You are what you hate

[beetiger]

I had a very long and complicated dream this morning, between the time when my bladder decided to wake me, just before it got light out, and the time my alarm went off. One scene featured a coworker of mine, the one who is leaving the company tomorrow, adopting a pair of twin girls. They had been matched to her by a neopagan adoption agency, who used an unusual method for detrmining personality types and compatibility. They determined which of a battery of scent samples you were most averse to.

I woke up thinking about postvixen’s recent take on the Otherkin personality, and the Otherkin-dismisser personality, and was wondering about the usefulness of a generalized version of my dream approach in real life. What would it tell us if we began to categorize ourselves by our filters, the things we go out of our way to not see? At the extremes, those who can’t or won’t filter anything out become schizophrenic; perhaps the autistic personality comes from screening out too much. Most of us are in the middle. Like the folks doing the screening in my dream, we’d probably need a battery of tests – it’s almost impossible to know what you are ignoring, unless you are alerted to it. I know this, and I work hard to seek out things that aren’t in my usual worldview now and again.

Two questions for anyone who is reading and cares to answer:

1)What are you avoiding thinking about, and what do you think that says about you?
2)What do you think *I* am avoiding thinking about, but do not notice?

Comments

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

What am I afraid to think about? That's easy: money.

Money was always the instrument of control in my family. My parents would lavish me with money if I acted according to what they wanted, and would break promises if I didn't. Therefore, I have a weird associations with money, and strong emotions.

What are you afraid to think about? I don't know you well enough to answer that...

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

1) When I try to think about the things I'm not thinking about, my mind sort of squirms around and doesn't come up with anything. I think that says my defense mechanisms are working properly.

2) ... how would I know?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Actually, I have a possibly better answer for 1. Possibly because it's something I don't *always* manage to avoid thinking about... but I *try* to avoid thinking about politics, because whenever I do I end up coming to the conclusion that I should become an assassin and dE$tr0y tHe 3v1L.

And I'm way to selfish to ever actually do that.

[paka.livejournal.com]

1. Even if I can't avoid it, there are paranoid, bigotted or angry thoughts down there I don't want to touch; there are ugly things in me, that take energy to feel or refute, and especially whenever I have outright rage, it totally drains me physically afterwards. There are also thoughts about money and past decisions that I don't want to think about because it tends to lead me into beating myself up.

2. For some reason it feels like there's some sort of sadness or doubt that you're not addressing. I don't think you'd ask questions like this if you didn't feel some sort of uncertainty. My guess is the business of starting a family is really making you process stuff, and if you're not concious about what that is, you will be in a bit. Hope that's not too stupid or new agey sounding?

[aprivatefox.livejournal.com]

1) I'm trying not to think too hard about the mid-to-far future, or the past, or much of anything outside of the recent range of events. I think it's a side effect of pulling through a depressed period - it's easier to keep everything in focus when you're not looking too far.

2) I don't see a gaping hole in what you're thinking about. I think that says that whatever it is, it's not something I'm looking particularly hard at, myself, or I might have noticed.