You are what you hate

[beetiger]

I had a very long and complicated dream this morning, between the time when my bladder decided to wake me, just before it got light out, and the time my alarm went off. One scene featured a coworker of mine, the one who is leaving the company tomorrow, adopting a pair of twin girls. They had been matched to her by a neopagan adoption agency, who used an unusual method for detrmining personality types and compatibility. They determined which of a battery of scent samples you were most averse to.

I woke up thinking about postvixen’s recent take on the Otherkin personality, and the Otherkin-dismisser personality, and was wondering about the usefulness of a generalized version of my dream approach in real life. What would it tell us if we began to categorize ourselves by our filters, the things we go out of our way to not see? At the extremes, those who can’t or won’t filter anything out become schizophrenic; perhaps the autistic personality comes from screening out too much. Most of us are in the middle. Like the folks doing the screening in my dream, we’d probably need a battery of tests – it’s almost impossible to know what you are ignoring, unless you are alerted to it. I know this, and I work hard to seek out things that aren’t in my usual worldview now and again.

Two questions for anyone who is reading and cares to answer:

1)What are you avoiding thinking about, and what do you think that says about you?
2)What do you think *I* am avoiding thinking about, but do not notice?

Comments

[paka.livejournal.com]

1. Even if I can't avoid it, there are paranoid, bigotted or angry thoughts down there I don't want to touch; there are ugly things in me, that take energy to feel or refute, and especially whenever I have outright rage, it totally drains me physically afterwards. There are also thoughts about money and past decisions that I don't want to think about because it tends to lead me into beating myself up.

2. For some reason it feels like there's some sort of sadness or doubt that you're not addressing. I don't think you'd ask questions like this if you didn't feel some sort of uncertainty. My guess is the business of starting a family is really making you process stuff, and if you're not concious about what that is, you will be in a bit. Hope that's not too stupid or new agey sounding?