Since I didn't ask...

[beetiger]

Now that I'm pregnant, people seem to have a variety of opinions on what I should do about any baby-related topic, from what I should be eating to circumcision to sleeping arrangements to how long one should breastfeed to whether I should go back to work right away.

I'm trying not to be annoyed by this. In fact, I'm really trying to embrace it, since it's mostly well-meaning.

For this reason, I open this up to you. Please give me unsolicited advice, on any topic (not just baby stuff). Anonymous comments fine. No promises on whether I take any of it.

(I'd do this as a poll, but I wanted to leave the option of long responses.)

Comments

[eetmewithtoast.livejournal.com]

I think you should run around with your hands on your ears and say "LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU" every time someone badgers you with more advice. Really, trust your instincts. Everyone, especially the experts, has a different answer about so many aspects of the whole parenting process. One of my nephews has a very oddly-shaped head because his parents were terrified of SIDS, terrified to lay him on his belly. So the back of his head became flat, and the helmet he wore to correct the deformed skull shape obviously didn't work well enough . . . now his head is mostly pointy. Still very flat in the back and flattish in the front, going to a point. Poor thing, I hope they grow his hair out so the other kids on the playground won't tease him too much.

But you asked for advice, so here's what I would do if I got to help raise a kid someday.

There are three basic things that kids need as dearly as they need warm milk and clean diapers. They need to be cuddled, they need to be sung to, and they need to be read to. It doesn't matter what you read or sing. If you want my suggestions for songs to teach yourself, they're here.

When should you begin the reading, singing and cuddling? Right now! I'm sure you've already been petting your own tummy affectionately- that's about as much of a cuddle as a fetus can feel, alas. But there are studies that show that newborn infants do recognize the sound of their mommies singing songs or reading stories that they've read/sung repeatedly throughout the pregnancy. Don't stop. Don't keep songs and stories as just bedtime activities. I'm sure that your future child would appreciate Bard and your other close friends singing and reading to zir, too.

Other than that, I like the concepts of Attachment Parenting and Co-Sleeping. Ask galeogirl about them, she knows way more than I do. Galeo apologized that Miranda was "so fussy!" when I came over to visit. But she was the quietest, calmest baby I've ever seen. She knows she doesn't need to cry loudly, since Mom's always Right There.

I lived with my parents 'til I was almost 26 (and I still live right above them) because they're so cool. They made boundaries, but they kept an open dialogue with me. I know that if I had a good reason for wanting to be out past curfew as a teen, I could talk to them beforehand and they would almost always OK it. They messed up a bit in adolescence, but the rest of my life they've been really neat. And I probably am preparing for a Completely Unpractical Career (Digital Animator) because I know that I have their complete support for (almost) everything I do or want to become. If you want, I'll introduce you to them this weekend: you can ask them how to go about making a PK. :)