Memes and stalker-brain
Dec. 30th, 2010 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beetigerThere's a big meme going around -- a whole bunch of you have done it -- that starts out with "Ten things I want to say to ten people", which people are doing anonymously. And I hate it.
I don't hate that you're doing it, and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to do, but it activates the part of my brain that just needs to know more, that just wants to pick at things until I get more details, wants to know if you're talking to me, talking to my friends and loved ones, wants to follow those trails in my own brain until the weirdnesses of my brain chemistry and my internal landscape turn them into things they almost certainly aren't. Or I'm sure you aren't talking to me, even though I thought I might have been bigger in your mental landscape, and I feel invisible and lost.
It's one of the parts of myself of which I'm probably the least proud. But I think I'm getting better at recognizing how much of it is internal and not projecting it too much on anyone else.
I'll ask you this -- if you are in fact talking to/about me, point me there. We don't have to talk more about whatever it is, and I promise not to push. And if you are talking to/about someone I care about, and you think I'd like to know, and it feels safe to you, you can tell me that too.
I don't hate that you're doing it, and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to do, but it activates the part of my brain that just needs to know more, that just wants to pick at things until I get more details, wants to know if you're talking to me, talking to my friends and loved ones, wants to follow those trails in my own brain until the weirdnesses of my brain chemistry and my internal landscape turn them into things they almost certainly aren't. Or I'm sure you aren't talking to me, even though I thought I might have been bigger in your mental landscape, and I feel invisible and lost.
It's one of the parts of myself of which I'm probably the least proud. But I think I'm getting better at recognizing how much of it is internal and not projecting it too much on anyone else.
I'll ask you this -- if you are in fact talking to/about me, point me there. We don't have to talk more about whatever it is, and I promise not to push. And if you are talking to/about someone I care about, and you think I'd like to know, and it feels safe to you, you can tell me that too.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-30 05:44 pm (UTC)The anonymous version of the meme makes me nuts, too. I think it can be done in a way that's not meanspirited, but it can't really be done in a way that doesn't make me Really Want To Know Who You Are Talking To.
Now I'm tempted to do the meme with the ten statements in the body of the post and then the people they're to under a cuttag, in case anyone actually likes the guessing game part. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-12-30 05:47 pm (UTC)