Missing the Point

[beetiger]

(Disclaimer: not any of you)

Frustrating thing #687:

Expressing concern over inappropriate behavior on someone's part, and having them respond by apologizing profusely in a way that makes it clear that they either didn't listen to anything you actually said except for "Hey, I'm upset", or that they utterly do not understand the issue.

Comments

[redbird]

Quite. I suspect this is connected to "if I say the magic words, it will be okay, and I can keep doing what I do as long as I apologize every so often."

[read-alicia.livejournal.com]

Often this is what people are taught amounts to an apology. This was especially prevalent in my grade school - I was asked to apologize in front of the class once and I tried to go into what I had done and why I understood it to be wrong, but the teacher interrupted me at "I'm sorry."
I don't think people have the time to understand manners anymore, which leads to thoughtful contemplation of why they are needed.

[deliciouspear.livejournal.com]

Gah. I had a roommate who pulled that crap all the time.

She was completely floored the time I said to her "You know maydela, just because you say "Oh sorry!" doesn't mean I am "not allowed" to be angry at you.