Secret glimpses

[beetiger]

(Not relevant to anything recent, so don't worry. Just something on my mind.)

Once in a while, a locked post will show up on my Friends page, something heartfelt or difficult or depressed. I'll learn something about a friend, and maybe I'll feel touched that they chose to share that thing with me.

The next time I reload, it's gone. Maybe the person reconsidered sharing it with people. Perhaps they reconsidered sharing it with *me*. Perhaps they took a little while getting their filters rearranged, and I just kind of slipped in for a minute, and they don't even realize it.

It always makes me feel voyeuristic and guilty, when it happens. It's hard to forget some of that stuff, words and ideas you just can't take back. It sometimes makes me feel isolated and lonely -- why *aren't* I okay to share that with? Do all of my friends have secret journals, and I'm only wasting my time on the husks of generalities out here, missing the meat of what's going on?

I almost never use filters myself, except a general friends filter for stuff that's on the mopey side or contains personal information or offers I'd rather not make for the general public. I very rarely make private posts.

And just to give myself something to chew on, indulge me, if you will:

[Poll #530554]

Comments

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's me, but I just wanted to mention that when I do that, I usually make it private just-for-me. Of course, most of my entries are public anyway. And I don't have that many secrets from you! ;-)

[rowyn]

Yeah, I've moved a few posts to "private" shortly after posting them, myself.

I've also seen the same phenomenon Bee has, there-and-gone, sometimes with an explanation and sometimes not. Always makes me curious, too.

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

I maintain a very few filters, for reading and for writing. My reasons for putting on someone onto most lists -- or taking someone off -- are utterly arbitrary. There often isn't a reason to take on, or take off, someone from any list.

Oops. I forgot one. I have one that's just for misseli and myself. That one's not very arbitrary.

If you're not on every filter, are you missing "the real me"? Hardly. Everything I write is "the real me". But occasionally I have things that I can only share with a very few people: things that deal specifically with work, things that deal specifically with running a convention, or things that deal with personal politics. These things can sometimes hurt other people if they got out.

A few months ago, I wrote about a similar issue. I try to treat friends-only journals as I do friends-only posts: if someone trusts me with private information, I endeavor to be as trustworthy as I can be. If they choose not to trust me with that information, I respect that decision.

[marrionettegirl.livejournal.com]

i have my secret journals, but my secrets are sorta out in the open, i dont really feel a need to keep secrets from anyone