Secret glimpses
Jul. 11th, 2005 10:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beetiger(Not relevant to anything recent, so don't worry. Just something on my mind.)
Once in a while, a locked post will show up on my Friends page, something heartfelt or difficult or depressed. I'll learn something about a friend, and maybe I'll feel touched that they chose to share that thing with me.
The next time I reload, it's gone. Maybe the person reconsidered sharing it with people. Perhaps they reconsidered sharing it with *me*. Perhaps they took a little while getting their filters rearranged, and I just kind of slipped in for a minute, and they don't even realize it.
It always makes me feel voyeuristic and guilty, when it happens. It's hard to forget some of that stuff, words and ideas you just can't take back. It sometimes makes me feel isolated and lonely -- why *aren't* I okay to share that with? Do all of my friends have secret journals, and I'm only wasting my time on the husks of generalities out here, missing the meat of what's going on?
I almost never use filters myself, except a general friends filter for stuff that's on the mopey side or contains personal information or offers I'd rather not make for the general public. I very rarely make private posts.
And just to give myself something to chew on, indulge me, if you will:
[Poll #530554]
Once in a while, a locked post will show up on my Friends page, something heartfelt or difficult or depressed. I'll learn something about a friend, and maybe I'll feel touched that they chose to share that thing with me.
The next time I reload, it's gone. Maybe the person reconsidered sharing it with people. Perhaps they reconsidered sharing it with *me*. Perhaps they took a little while getting their filters rearranged, and I just kind of slipped in for a minute, and they don't even realize it.
It always makes me feel voyeuristic and guilty, when it happens. It's hard to forget some of that stuff, words and ideas you just can't take back. It sometimes makes me feel isolated and lonely -- why *aren't* I okay to share that with? Do all of my friends have secret journals, and I'm only wasting my time on the husks of generalities out here, missing the meat of what's going on?
I almost never use filters myself, except a general friends filter for stuff that's on the mopey side or contains personal information or offers I'd rather not make for the general public. I very rarely make private posts.
And just to give myself something to chew on, indulge me, if you will:
[Poll #530554]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 04:25 am (UTC)