What turns you on?
May. 31st, 2005 09:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beetigerThere's been various and sundry banter around my friends' list lately about good words for orientations that don't clearly fit in the straight/bisexual/gay paradigm very well.
I tend to use "pansexual" myself, but I don't mind the implications that I like my lovers out in the woods with flutes and hooves, or that I've got an unnatural fondness for cookware. But, still, it's sort of wrong -- although I find my self attracted to people kind of across the board in terms of standard categories, I'm certainly not attracted to everyone.
I fit somewhat in the sapiosexual world -- I find myself drawn to passionate, brilliant people who are engaging conversationalists, who think of things I never would have thought of on my own, and who haven't lost their spirit of play. (Sometimes, these sorts even like me too!) And to use the terminology of a friend, I don't have much of a gender fetish.
But there's no question there are still physical features I find attractive, and that they differ somewhat by the gender of the person. I like cushy, cozy women, but I don't care much for that style in men. I like tall and dramatic types; if you can look dark and mysterious without crossing over into goth, that works for me. I like androgyny in any gendered person, and am especially intrigued when I can't quite tell at first. I like genderplay, if the person looks confident in their style -- men in corsets and women in ties always get my attention. The main "masculine" feature I like is facial hair; clean cut but masculine looking men do nothing for me. I like unmanicured pretty, girl-next-door types. I like boy parts. I like girl parts. I don't care if your parts don't match the standard-issue specifications. I like people who take up an unusual amount of personal space -- either dramatic presences who radiate around the room, or shy retiring types who blossom when youve taken the time to get to know them.
I've always said that the problem with these disucussions of orientation is that people seem to need to sum it up in a word or two, and so people with complex attractions get lost in trying to find a label.
I invite you to leave a comment here, using as many words as you like, sharing what attracts you.
I tend to use "pansexual" myself, but I don't mind the implications that I like my lovers out in the woods with flutes and hooves, or that I've got an unnatural fondness for cookware. But, still, it's sort of wrong -- although I find my self attracted to people kind of across the board in terms of standard categories, I'm certainly not attracted to everyone.
I fit somewhat in the sapiosexual world -- I find myself drawn to passionate, brilliant people who are engaging conversationalists, who think of things I never would have thought of on my own, and who haven't lost their spirit of play. (Sometimes, these sorts even like me too!) And to use the terminology of a friend, I don't have much of a gender fetish.
But there's no question there are still physical features I find attractive, and that they differ somewhat by the gender of the person. I like cushy, cozy women, but I don't care much for that style in men. I like tall and dramatic types; if you can look dark and mysterious without crossing over into goth, that works for me. I like androgyny in any gendered person, and am especially intrigued when I can't quite tell at first. I like genderplay, if the person looks confident in their style -- men in corsets and women in ties always get my attention. The main "masculine" feature I like is facial hair; clean cut but masculine looking men do nothing for me. I like unmanicured pretty, girl-next-door types. I like boy parts. I like girl parts. I don't care if your parts don't match the standard-issue specifications. I like people who take up an unusual amount of personal space -- either dramatic presences who radiate around the room, or shy retiring types who blossom when youve taken the time to get to know them.
I've always said that the problem with these disucussions of orientation is that people seem to need to sum it up in a word or two, and so people with complex attractions get lost in trying to find a label.
I invite you to leave a comment here, using as many words as you like, sharing what attracts you.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-06-01 04:23 am (UTC)There are groups I'm not attracted to, men being the largest. There are men I'm attracted to, but that's very much the exception. I'm also not usually attracted to people that spend too much effort making themselves attractive, really thin people (because I was once too thin and so know what's wrong with it), and people who feel they can demand my attention by right.
I am attracted to people who can get me talking -- that's my biggest turn on. I'm normally very quiet; someone who can get me talking is *attractive*. I'm also attracted to people who laugh a lot, smart people, people who know by voice a grackle from a starling (or generally know a thing1 from a thing2 in their chosen field; knowledge is sexy), and women with dark hair and bangs.
I don't particularly like people who can read the last two paragraphs and then check to see whether they have dark hair and bangs to determine whether I'm attracted to them.
Livejournal is a personal medium. I can't help wondering if you're asking whether people find you attractive. Yes, I do.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-01 01:15 pm (UTC)Livejournal is a personal medium. I can't help wondering if you're asking whether people find you attractive. Yes, I do.
Actually, in this case, I totally wasn't. I was wanting a space for people to talk about themselves for real rather than fussing about labels. Until you mentioned it, I hadn't really thought of checklisting to see if I matched anyone's list of attractive features -- only whether my friends and I found similar things attractive.
But petting the bee is always welcome, so thank you. :)