What turns you on?

[beetiger]

There's been various and sundry banter around my friends' list lately about good words for orientations that don't clearly fit in the straight/bisexual/gay paradigm very well.

I tend to use "pansexual" myself, but I don't mind the implications that I like my lovers out in the woods with flutes and hooves, or that I've got an unnatural fondness for cookware. But, still, it's sort of wrong -- although I find my self attracted to people kind of across the board in terms of standard categories, I'm certainly not attracted to everyone.

I fit somewhat in the sapiosexual world -- I find myself drawn to passionate, brilliant people who are engaging conversationalists, who think of things I never would have thought of on my own, and who haven't lost their spirit of play. (Sometimes, these sorts even like me too!) And to use the terminology of a friend, I don't have much of a gender fetish.

But there's no question there are still physical features I find attractive, and that they differ somewhat by the gender of the person. I like cushy, cozy women, but I don't care much for that style in men. I like tall and dramatic types; if you can look dark and mysterious without crossing over into goth, that works for me. I like androgyny in any gendered person, and am especially intrigued when I can't quite tell at first. I like genderplay, if the person looks confident in their style -- men in corsets and women in ties always get my attention. The main "masculine" feature I like is facial hair; clean cut but masculine looking men do nothing for me. I like unmanicured pretty, girl-next-door types. I like boy parts. I like girl parts. I don't care if your parts don't match the standard-issue specifications. I like people who take up an unusual amount of personal space -- either dramatic presences who radiate around the room, or shy retiring types who blossom when youve taken the time to get to know them.

I've always said that the problem with these disucussions of orientation is that people seem to need to sum it up in a word or two, and so people with complex attractions get lost in trying to find a label.

I invite you to leave a comment here, using as many words as you like, sharing what attracts you.

Comments

[dasnarrenschiff.livejournal.com]

It kind of puzzles me, does sexuality. It's all so constructed, be it your heteronormative mass-culture or the equally rigidly self-policed and homogenised (bad pun) gay scene... even alty fringe types favourite sex game seems to be pulling the wool over their own eyes. It hurts my tiny little brain. I don't particularly mind constructed "artificial" things, but it does tend to get a bit po-faced and synthetic at times, and drains some of the passion from talking about sex. But then, even acting natural is constructed, so boo hoo hoo me.

What I find attractive seems very mutable, who's to say something unattractive isn't just a taste I've yet to acquire? Other old favourites fall from favour (women, in my case). I am not adverse to strange musical lovers from the forests, certainly! I like playfulness, definitely. Music or any of the arts is fairly wonderful, too. I have a bizarre fetish for redheads, which is probably just some kind of narcissism. Languages turn me on, so does intelligence, though not necessarily being erudite. Strength, physical or otherwise, is attractive.

All fairly obvious and dull stuff, really. I am such an old-fashioned type.

He must also like axolotls and messy dreadlocks.