What turns you on?

[beetiger]

There's been various and sundry banter around my friends' list lately about good words for orientations that don't clearly fit in the straight/bisexual/gay paradigm very well.

I tend to use "pansexual" myself, but I don't mind the implications that I like my lovers out in the woods with flutes and hooves, or that I've got an unnatural fondness for cookware. But, still, it's sort of wrong -- although I find my self attracted to people kind of across the board in terms of standard categories, I'm certainly not attracted to everyone.

I fit somewhat in the sapiosexual world -- I find myself drawn to passionate, brilliant people who are engaging conversationalists, who think of things I never would have thought of on my own, and who haven't lost their spirit of play. (Sometimes, these sorts even like me too!) And to use the terminology of a friend, I don't have much of a gender fetish.

But there's no question there are still physical features I find attractive, and that they differ somewhat by the gender of the person. I like cushy, cozy women, but I don't care much for that style in men. I like tall and dramatic types; if you can look dark and mysterious without crossing over into goth, that works for me. I like androgyny in any gendered person, and am especially intrigued when I can't quite tell at first. I like genderplay, if the person looks confident in their style -- men in corsets and women in ties always get my attention. The main "masculine" feature I like is facial hair; clean cut but masculine looking men do nothing for me. I like unmanicured pretty, girl-next-door types. I like boy parts. I like girl parts. I don't care if your parts don't match the standard-issue specifications. I like people who take up an unusual amount of personal space -- either dramatic presences who radiate around the room, or shy retiring types who blossom when youve taken the time to get to know them.

I've always said that the problem with these disucussions of orientation is that people seem to need to sum it up in a word or two, and so people with complex attractions get lost in trying to find a label.

I invite you to leave a comment here, using as many words as you like, sharing what attracts you.

Comments

[elven-wolf.livejournal.com]

I've had the same sort of mental quest myself for a long time now. I pretty much accepted heterosexuality as the norm while I was growing up (was raised Catholic, didn't have much of a choice there), so I didn't really click on bisexuality until I was exposed to the idea in my teenage years. I did my sort of exploration during that time and I think I've almost but not really come full-circle. I don't consider myself anything in terms of sexual 'identity'. I don't even consider myself female, or male for that matter, though I have attributes of both. I can find people of both genders equally attractive, but I don't find myself 'attracted to' them in a sense. If that makes any sense. I like looking at people I find attractive, but most of the time the attraction stems from personality rather than a specific attribute. I couldn't say I like a certain body type, because my current tastes include the tall and skinny and the short and squishy. And most of the time, my brain ends up wanting to see them getting it on with each other rather than wanting me to get it on with them. *lol* I guess I've turned sex into a spectator's sport. I figured out early on I liked being in control of a fantasy rather than having to deal with flawed reality. *lol* Not very interesting that way, I guess.