Loving the lost

[beetiger]

The depression is hitting heavy again, the way it did a few years back. I recognize it now, so I'm hoping I can meet it part way before it blindsides me, this time. Casual IMs and friendliness help a lot with that, so don't be shy.

But I don't want to talk about that. The main reason I haven't posted much lately is that I don't want to talk about that, and that's been most of what's on my mind, except for T-shirts about which I suspect you are bored.
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At one of my previous jobs I had a friend who was a literalist Christian. She was a sweet person, and we were sincerely friends -- we sang together in the company choir that went to nursing homes at Christmastime, she helped me choose bridesmaids' dresses for my wedding, we talked a lot. But I knew that she was utterly and completely sure that I was going to Hell.

I can easily see why I could be friends with her; I just thought she was wrong on that topic, and it wasn't an important topic to me, so I just connected with her on other things. But I find it hard to understand how she could be friends with me, believing that I was damned. Perhaps she thought that there was still a chance there somewhere. Or perhaps, like those who befriend the elderly or those with terminal illness without worrying about how much time they'll have together, she just thought she'd share her love in the present and not wory about the ultimate results.

When does it make sense to give up on a lost cause?

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

Just like you didn't understand her, she didn't understand you, imagine how much you confused her!

For all you know she didn't give up. Perhaps, to her, being an example, (as she saw it) and being a friend and caring about you (and maybe praying for you) was her way of not giving up. Who knows. As long as she was respectful about it.

And giving up otherwise? If it is truly a lost cause and you tried your hardest and it is hurting you more and more until you cannot be you anymore? That sounds like a good time to give up. Or if it is hurting someone else, like when Ted couldn't nurse -- didn't WANT to give up, but when he had to be weighed every day because he was dropping weight like crazy? Had to accept that all the mothers milk tea, pumps and weird feeding devices just wouldnt work fast enough -- but with the physical measurement of something like WEIGHT, yeah, thats easier to judge. Something like my grandmother, I 'gave up' after I saw her in the hospital. I knew she had cancer, and knew that my visit to her may be one of my last. But we talked like everything was normal, but when I kissed her goodbye, I knew I had to let go. Just instinct, really.

Why am I so rambly tonight?

And I DO like hearing about tshirts because it is inspirational. I wish I had talent and patience to work for myself, like that.

[rowyn]

Perhaps, to her, being an example, (as she saw it) and being a friend and caring about you (and maybe praying for you) was her way of not giving up.

I think there's a lot of merit to this. I've known a lot of "quiet Christians" who were my friends before my conversion, and they're just being around and friendly made Christianity much more attractive than the "You're DAMNED if you don't!" crowd.

Of course most Christians want to "convert the heathens." But conversions aren't made by browbeating folks until they avoid you. If you want to convert someone to your way of life, the best way is to hang around them and show them how happy you are with it -- and ergo, how happy they could be if they followed the same path. O:)

I agree on your advice about other lost causes, too.