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beetigerI just deleted the larger part of a long whiny rant about how unfestive this holiday season was for me, and how I felt discouraged and disappointed by it. As I was writing it, I realized I was spending a lot of time trashing people who really do love me a lot and are taking very good care of me, just because I was feeling profoundly unsatisfied. It wasn't coming out amusing, as I meant for the descriptions of me, my niece and nephew whining that none of the "grownups" were letting us finish opening the presents by 3 pm on Christmas day because they wanted to take naps, or the complaint that my father-in-law gave us a toilet plunger for a gift to be. It just sounded depressed. They're not the impressions I was to take into this new year, even if they are completely true.
In any case, I don't think it's just that the people around me weren't putting out the energy I needed. It's more that Rhys and I are an amazing energy sink right now, and I think I was probably slurping down massive amounts of love and kindness thrown at me without noticing.
Due to doing LiveJournal, I've probably got a better record of 2003 than of any year before that. It's probably good, although going back and reading it doesn't feel like something I want to do now.
Rhys managed to fall asleep at about 11:58 last night, after a large vomitfest. And he wasn't even drinking! We missed seeing the ball drop on TV, but I feel asleep before Conan got around to celebrating for the Central Time Zone. And Julia wasn't here, despite having planned to be (poor sick kitty!) Bard found me a few appetizers in the back of the freezer that didn't have cheese.
2004's going to be a learning and growing year for me, just by definition. Love and joy and blessings to you all.
In any case, I don't think it's just that the people around me weren't putting out the energy I needed. It's more that Rhys and I are an amazing energy sink right now, and I think I was probably slurping down massive amounts of love and kindness thrown at me without noticing.
Due to doing LiveJournal, I've probably got a better record of 2003 than of any year before that. It's probably good, although going back and reading it doesn't feel like something I want to do now.
Rhys managed to fall asleep at about 11:58 last night, after a large vomitfest. And he wasn't even drinking! We missed seeing the ball drop on TV, but I feel asleep before Conan got around to celebrating for the Central Time Zone. And Julia wasn't here, despite having planned to be (poor sick kitty!) Bard found me a few appetizers in the back of the freezer that didn't have cheese.
2004's going to be a learning and growing year for me, just by definition. Love and joy and blessings to you all.
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OT
Date: 2004-01-03 07:36 am (UTC)