(no subject)

[beetiger]

My marvelous friend Barbara brought mutual-friend gossip this weekend along with herself and the snow. A friend got married to his girlfriend with only a few days notice, because she'd been laid off from her job and was going to lose health benefits.

Is this the 21st century equivalent of the shotgun wedding?

Comments

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

That was one of a handful of reasons my husband and I eloped.

We always intended to have a 'real' wedding, but between trying to see if we could get custody or guardianship of his little brother, and his serious need to see a doctor for his foot, running off to city hall sounded like a good idea. (He had no benefits, I did.)

I guess it worked, it's been 13 years.

[runnerwolf.livejournal.com]

sar_anon and I were planning on getting married. We signed the paperwork almost 6 months before the wedding so he could get me on his health insurance and I could quit the emotionally abusive job I had.

[hakeber.livejournal.com]

Yep, I've known some in the same boat. Seems to be the high cost driving this trend.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

Yes. I know many many more cases of this than I do of people marrying because a child was on the way, hence the above comment.

So much for the sanctity of marriage and all. THank you US govmit and big corp'rashuns.

Means of marriage

[krdbuni.livejournal.com]

Jessie and I lived together for three years or so before we decided to get married (two of which we didn't have the option, but that's hardly the point). A friend of ours in the ULC witnessed our vows over a game of Yahtzee, and then we went out to dinner. We sort of figured if we didn't take care of it now, we might end up not being able to take care of it later. Plus, the fringe benefits of insurance and the like were really nice.

One of my coworkers also got married for the sole purpose of making sure his wife had insurance as well as their daughter, and I've heard tell of others who've been through the same thing.

Kristy

[rowyn]

I know a four people who've done that, too. Me, I refuse to marry someone for any of the following reasons:

1) To get him US citizenship
2) To get a tax break
3) To get him on my health insurance

And, yes, these are all reasons that have come up in my own life. I really find it rather appalling that marriage is so connected to these things, particularly the last two. :/

[parisgreen.livejournal.com]

That's why I got married. Of course, we'd been living together at that point for 14 years. Mind you, once I got health benefits again, we didn't get divorced. Somehow, that's not the same thing.

Also, I have to admit that the party and gifts were motivations as well.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, many businesses in Portland (and all government jobs) have unmarried partner benefits, so this is not an issue. The fact that it is clearly an issue in much of the US is truly appalling.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

For opposite-sex couples? There are a lot of businesses arond here that offer benefits to same-sex couples who can't get legally married, but not for couples who could if they wanted.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's extremely common here. In fact, I think that it's more common that for same-sex couples. Then again, we also have a domestic partnership law that can be used by couples regardless of their respective sexes.

[serenainverse.livejournal.com]

It's getting to be that it's the only way for a lot of people to get vitally needed services, and it's OFTEN the only way for someone to get citizenship.

Sad really. The politicians will happily trumpet the sanctity of marriage if it means oppressing people, but they sure don't want to make healthcare affordable and citizenship obtainable so that marriage can retain real meaning.