Mystery

[beetiger]

Everything I feel like I could say here about what I've been experiencing these last two weeks sounds dreadfully Erma Bombeck-ish trite if I try to put it down in text.

I've never experienced anything as purely *right* as having an entire person made of your own flesh and blood curled up sleeping on your chest. I can't describe the kind of ache that comes from having the person you love best in the world draped screaming over your shoulder for an hour and not being able to figure out what to do for him. I'm boggled at the body issues that come up in my mind as I'm relying on my metabolism to provide food for my baby, and trying to trust that process.

This is what they mean in esoteric, initiatory traditions when they say "Here be a mystery". There are things that you cannot share with people that haven't experienced them, not because they are a big secret, but because the profundity of them is purely experiential. Stepping through those doorways as a new mother feels more dramatic than having done it as a Witch, though. My child, perhaps, expects more of me than the Gods do.

I feel very very human.

Comments

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

Miss you three, hon. (Yes, three -- sorry, Omaha. :) ) And I realized, talking to my mom today, that the you = me principle extends to her too, since I inherited most of my temperament from her, and that I wish there were any likelihood you'd ever get to meet her.