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Misnomer
The big conference table outside my office is a magnet for everything. Old computer monitors get stashed there randomly. Any food that people want to share, from bagels brought in by one of our suppliers, to leftover sandwiches and pizza from meetings that shows up around 3 in the afternoon when the conference room gets cleaned up, to candy from the UK that’s much better than what we get here, especially bags of licorice allsorts that show up now and again, to Krispy Kremes that someone bought because they had coupons, gets left there.
Starting perhaps a month ago, the table also started to be used for Sharon’s Perpetual Tag Sale. Christmas candles and photo frames and stationery and Halloween centerpieces and miniature bottles of alcohol and books and random packaged food goods started showing up, day after day. Amazingly, a lot of it got taken. I even took a lot of it, though I am not quite sure why, and it’s still stashed in my desk drawer.
One of the things that’s hung around about a week or so, untouched, is a jar marked "Country Fixin’s Fried Apples". I was intrigued, as fried food generally doesn’t get jarred, since if it is soggy there is little point. So here it is, in my office. The ingredients? Apples, HFCS, corn syrup, water, modified food starch, cellulose gum, spices. Apple slices in thickened sugar. No oil or butter. No coating. There are instructions for "Fried Apples" on the side of the jar, so I guess what they really meant was "Country Fixin’s Potentially Fryable Apples". The recipe says to simmer the contents of the jar for 30 minutes, in a pan with 3 tablespoons butter. This is also not frying. This is "randomly adding fat to sugary goo".
I guess there isn’t a standard of identity for "fried". But the food scientist in me is offended. The health nut in me can't be pleased by this abomination that used to be fruit, even if it does turn out to be fat-free. And the gourmet in me is going to put the jar back on the table. Sorry Sharon.
Starting perhaps a month ago, the table also started to be used for Sharon’s Perpetual Tag Sale. Christmas candles and photo frames and stationery and Halloween centerpieces and miniature bottles of alcohol and books and random packaged food goods started showing up, day after day. Amazingly, a lot of it got taken. I even took a lot of it, though I am not quite sure why, and it’s still stashed in my desk drawer.
One of the things that’s hung around about a week or so, untouched, is a jar marked "Country Fixin’s Fried Apples". I was intrigued, as fried food generally doesn’t get jarred, since if it is soggy there is little point. So here it is, in my office. The ingredients? Apples, HFCS, corn syrup, water, modified food starch, cellulose gum, spices. Apple slices in thickened sugar. No oil or butter. No coating. There are instructions for "Fried Apples" on the side of the jar, so I guess what they really meant was "Country Fixin’s Potentially Fryable Apples". The recipe says to simmer the contents of the jar for 30 minutes, in a pan with 3 tablespoons butter. This is also not frying. This is "randomly adding fat to sugary goo".
I guess there isn’t a standard of identity for "fried". But the food scientist in me is offended. The health nut in me can't be pleased by this abomination that used to be fruit, even if it does turn out to be fat-free. And the gourmet in me is going to put the jar back on the table. Sorry Sharon.
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Which reminds me, you'll have recipes sometime today. ;)
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