beetiger | Seventh Generation

postvixen spent a little time writing about how qe's unhappy about how years of practical evolution have perhaps begun to breed the dreamers and visionaries too far out of us. And leto_lapin posted a recent justification for her choice to be childfree. It's not really such a surprise that most of my queer geeky pagan gamer fringish never-grow-up wonderful friends have no interest in rewriting perfectly good lives by raising kids. But I'm making the choice to have a child, some day that maybe isn't all that far away, and I'm hoping that this doesn't make me desperately lonely in my world.

I'm hoping to put a new beacon of light into the world, a little piece of joy, and feed zir on my love and my worldview and my work, and teach zir what gives my life meaning, and how beautiful the world is. And I want to give zir wings and wtch zir pursue dreams I've never even imagined. And I want zir to have good company.

Teddy Roosevelt and the eugenicists of that period were very concerned with the whole issue of 'racial suicide', the idea that superior white people were going to die out as sophisticated American women weren't breeding as fast as those damned immigrants. It's popular stuff among the KKK and other racists to this day. Not pretty. But at the same time, I can understand something about the fear that what we value will die with us.

Overall, the world needs zero population growth, it's true. We're not going to make the world a better place by having unwanted kids around, and I daresay we're not going to win over the religious right by outbreeding them. Somehow it worries me that the people who realize these things are the people who I'd most like to see populating the world of my future. I do believe that maybe there is something genetic about the creative mindset, and a part of me wants to tell you all to consider it, consider passing those trends on.

But really, what I want to do, is to exhort you all to be crazy aunts and uncles, as you desire and are able. Kids need to be exposed to the kinds of ideas that peopple who don't have kids have. Make an impact on the lives of young people who will be here once we're cycling back into the circle of life. Keep that bright flourescent spirit flowing and growing. Please support those of us on the fringe who are choosing to have children. We're really not transforming ourselves into suburban drones, and we really still have all of the crazy dreams we always did, even if we won't always be manifesting them the same way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are! A beacon of light. I never said this but or maybe I did, but you were one of the freindlist people I met at TBC. I aspire to be what you are.. Peace. Jay

P.S. Right ON!

"...exhort you all to be crazy aunts and uncles, as you desire and are able.."

Funny you should mention that. I have to be child-free of medical necessity, but one of my missions in life is to be that zany aunt - or uncle. No, I don't do male drag intentionally (I know *how* to do it, but I'm just not appropriately designed to pass, alas). What's really amusing is that I am a member of a co-ed service fraternity, where all duly initiated members are referred to as "brothers" in order to maintain gender equity in all our rules and documents, so I often joke to children of my friends from the fraternity that I am their "uncle" (and am the brother of either or both parent), and I let the kid(s) stew about the gender confusion for a bit. It's quite fun, and the adults often go with it and help me get the kids thinking and questioning. Thus, the kids are already primed to explore gender roles and identities at a ripe young age.

You are right on, beetiger! Those of us who cannot or choose not to reproduce need to find other ways to help the little ones know that mundane life is only one choice out of many.

I think you would make an excellent mother, and I congratulate you on your decision to be one!

I do agree with you that the majority of people that seem to not want children are the types of people that would be good parents. I read an article once that said as a person's level of education goes up, the average number of children they have goes down. Not good from a eugenics point of view. But still, not practicing eugenics and things of that ilk are what keep us from being Nazis.

As an aside,

Abortion seems to be solving the 'problem' the Roosevelts' imagined, as it is used more by minorities now. I heard that Elanor privately explained this anticipated occurance as one of it's potential benefits. Yay.

I wouldn't worry about your contribution to the 'population problem'. Zero population growth would be nice, but a child in some countries is not as impactful as a child in others, and until there is a culture change the quick solutions are government enforced policies. Those are like, bad. Really bad. I think Mother Nature is going to come along with a bunch of diseases before that happens, and wipe out nearly everyone, act together or not.

Rrr.. not exactly supportive comments are they? I'm trying to be, really. Go for it, don't worry about it. It isn't necessary to include the price of tea in China in your personal decisions.

Oh, I don't need the encouragement to 'go for it'! I just hope that some of my childless friends will stick around, is all. They're the kind of folks I want my child to know.

You know that the KKK folks are right... purebred European blood is fairly rapidly dropping in the world. Not quite as quickly as purebred African blood, of course.

To that information, all I can do is yawn. I don't value racial or societal purity. I strongly value appreciating and appropriating the best from every culture. *grin* When you have children, I'll be bringing stuff that may be age-appropriate, but will be from different cultures: CDs of Cuban bands, the game Mankala or Go, and the like. Or just bright shinies.

Eli and I plan on having one or two children once she finishes her MLS, around 2004. I hope that our children will get the best from their parents: both of us love learning, love trying new things.

Kids need lots of exposure to different stuff, especially if they haven't figured out that it's "weird" yet. A friend once harrassed some racist relatives by bringing their young daughter a black Barbie. The parents were appalled. The kid was delighted to get a new Barbie that she'd never even *seen* at any of her friends' houses.

What a great story! I must have told you about the time I tried to desegregate my stepsister's stuffed animal collection, right?

Best of luck to you. For my part, I can't stand children (as well as having all the other reasons that you've likely heard from other childfree queer, geeky, pagan, gamers). I also think that the best way to continue our traditions is through recruitment and not raising folk to be freaks like us, since from what I've seen the later is far too uncertain, you might end up with a clueless jock :)

However, I've also seen people be exceedingly (and from my PoV bafflingly :) happy with their choice to have children and the overpopulation issue isn't particularly important if you only have one.

Recruitment at all ages is also quite important, as is changing the world right now among the grownups.

I used to think having kids was totally out of the question, so whether I wanted a kid or not was sort of academic. I actually would like to be a father though. It'd help me grow and learn too, maybe, it'd definitely test whether I'd become my father. Also, I kinda feel like the abuse has been filtered - that I got only a third of what my parents got, and that maybe I can block out the remainder from my children. Guess that's sort of selfish...

My girlfriend is pretty jazzed about making babies with me, but I'd kinda like to adopt. It seems like there are plenty of good kids out there already, and of course my parents hate the idea of adopted grandchildren. They'll talk about how "adopted kids tend to be really disturbed" and that sort of thing.

I don't think you need to worry about the fluro spirit dying out - I think it's normal mode of propagation is by infection, not birth.

Seventh Generation

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Crazy aunt AND uncle

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Racial suicide!

Multiculti

Re: Multiculti

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