Cranky Bee and the SUV

[beetiger]

When Enterprise Rent-A-Car’s website says that they have a compact car “available” at certain location, apparently what they mean is not that they actually have one available, but that they suppose they can probably get one there at some point given enough phone calls and waiting. Since I was already late before I started because the place didn’t open until 7:30, and because “that’s probably what they are bringing over from the other place anyway”, I ended up with an SUV.

It wasn't just the fact that I'm opposed to suburban tanks on moral and ethical grounds that made me unhappy about this. It wasn’t just that I’m a pretty small person, and not used to driving that size vehicle. It wasn’t really the extra gas cost. It wasn’t just that I’m a pretty nervous sort of a driver. It wasn’t even the fact that the last time I drove something like this, it was a company car that I inadvertently plowed into a coworker’s car in the parking lot.

It was the fact that the fog came up just over the hill to make the road nearly invisible, just a mile or two past the rental place, where it had been quite clear. It was that I wasn’t sure whether I’d been able to turn the lights on successfully or whether I was barreling invisibly through the fog. It wasn’t that they crammed two lanes of opposing traffic together into one lane for construction since the last time I was on this route last week, leaving very little room for error. I tried to avoid the scary-turn-around the flagpole near the end of this route by getting off the highway an exit early, but of course I got lost in the fog and ending up spending 15 minutes refinding the highway just to go back on the route I was trying to avoid.

I am so looking forward to Midwest FurFest. I get to dress funny, I get to run games, and no one expects me to drive.

Comments

[neillparatzo.livejournal.com]

I'm opposed to SUVs on the simple ground that you don't need all that metal to get you where you need to be. It hinders performance, makes the vehicle harder to maneuver, and just looks goofy. Nobody takes those things offroad, anyway.

And I'd be a lot more comfortable with the phenomenon, if it weren't for the fact that civilian-model Hummers are starting to get popular. I wish I were joking.

[cloverr.livejournal.com]

I can relate to this sort of thing. I HATE driving. In my case I didn't even get my drivers license until I was 23 years old. (of course, having failed Drivers Ed in high school was a traumatic teenage experience). I have pretty poor eyesight and never feel comfortable in a car--no depth perception and I can't really tell where I am in relation to other cars, or be able to read road signs, etc ,etc. Yep, I'm one of those nervous drivers that other drivers prolly hate on the roads. Not to worry tho, bee--Sean will be driving in Chicago; he has lived there before and he's a much more able driver than I am.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

Not to make light, but "Cranky Bee and the SUV" sounds like the title of a kid's comic published by Greenpeace. I can see Cranky Bee, the irritable but lovable eco-heroine of the story, blocking traffic on a highway to remonstrate in doggerel with commuters:

"Please don't drive your SUV!
It's as huge and ugly as can be!
It guzzles huge amounts of oil,
And with foul exhaust the air despoils,
If you drive it anymore,
We'll need to have another war!
So sell that barge, you awful lout
Before all of the oil runs out!"

OK, that was awful. I'm sorry. :)

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

No, that was beautiful! I still think we should've followed through on that "Farmer Cuddlebear Learns about the World Bank" comic. >:)

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

We would have, except our 'artistic talent' (Lyr) has far too many other projects on his plate, including comics that are better than that one. :)

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

Oh Ratty, that's just beautiful!

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

Anyone who is reading this and knows how to draw and wants to do the page Postrodent has described above will be richly rewarded.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

I'll talk to the wolf. He probably wouldn't mind slipping it in to Sordid City Blues. A tiger mysteriously attired in a bee costume and yelling rhymes at angry motorists, would actually fit in rather well. :)

[lediva.livejournal.com]

*thbpppt*

Why does it have to be doggerel? :P Why can't it be catterel? That sounds so much more refined.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

Because, just like dogs, my poetry is stupid. :)

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

You know, between getting to drive again and getting several hours of conversation with you a day... I'm half-tempted to offer myself dirt-cheap as a chauffeur. ;)

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Can I join too? I'll be... um... a bodyguard, or a publicist, or something... :)

[serendipoz.livejournal.com]

Don't take up driving around Buffalo in the winter - more snow than anywhere I want to be, and I like snow.

(Thank you for the laugh, I needed it. Though I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time.)

[werellama.livejournal.com]

Yay! See you at MFF!

I must be evil...

[fenton.livejournal.com]

... because I rather enjoy driving our SUV.

Three cars: an Eclipse (D's little sports car, which she uses to commute), a Taurus, and an Expedition. I used to drive the Expedition almost exclusively; now it's the Taurus. Mostly I drove the Beast (Expedition mk 1) / Grendel (Expedition mk 2) because I had the shortest commute, and thus, burned the least amount of excessive gas. Having now driven both large and small(er) cars, I must say I honestly much prefer the SUV for everything except parking - and having learned to park in it, everything else is easy.

And yes, we actually own it for a reason: nothing smaller can fit 2 100+ pound Rottweiler/Lab mixes, or a full show's worth of art and supplies when A goes to one to sell. It's also exceedingly handy for camping, though the Taurus could at least compete on those grounds if we weren't taking the dogs.

Re: I must be evil...

[fenton.livejournal.com]

And, because it just crossed my mind: yes, we do take it offroading. Regularly enough that I know where to take it to get the tires re-balanced, because we periodically end up losing weights and have to have it done.

For what it's worth, I even agree with the general sentiments for about 98% of the SUVs (and more particularly, the drivers) out there. They never have any need for what the things are capable of, they never learn to drive them like anything other than a car (and they are *not* something you can sanely drive like a car, but then, most drivers don't even know how to drive a car, either, if we're talking about US drivers. Not properly, anyway).