Limited Vision

[beetiger]

The last time I put on my "tiger drag", at the TBC con, I was very distressed to discover a large, distinctive, rectangular pink stain across her chest, as if a lipstick container had melted leaning on the suit. Luckily it was on the section of the suit that normally sits underneath Bumblebee's clothing, and I didn't have any plans to parade her around the con topless, so it worked out fine.

Yesterday, I bought some heavy duty stain remover to clean her up. But when I went to use it this morning, I couldn't see the stain at all. I brought the suit into the guest bedroom, where we've got flourescent lighting, but I guess that's home-use lighting, not university bathroom lighting, and I still can't see it. The stain remover worked on the more visible bit of black makeup stain elsewhere on which I tried it, but matted the fur enough that I don't just want to cover the whole chest with stain remover without being able to see the effect. I suppose I'll carry the stain remover with me to the next event, and dress early enough to use it if the lighting reveals the blotch again.

This puts me in a metaphorical mood this morning. What new ways would I glow, shining and obvious, if I could only get myself into the right lighting? What sorts of stains am I projecting to the world that I am entirely unable to see on my own? And when the opportunity to transform my life presents itself to me, could it lurk invisible, frustrated with my lack of ability to see it? Is this why I need to keep cultivating friendships with people with different eyes?

Comments

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

Oh wad the Giftie gi'e us,
To see ourselves as others see us.

That's what friends are for, Beetiger!

[queenofstripes.livejournal.com]

Wow, vision... there's another thing I can't trust anymore. :) I have nothing profound to say here, except that I've had much that same set of feelings about invisible parts of myself. Not only do I rely on other people for my self-image because I know I can't trust my own perceptions, there's so much protocol and propriety around confession your opinions of people that it's hard to know if you're really "just fine" or if you're covered in stains and nobody wants to tell you.

Maybe we should have a holiday once a year where everybody is actually honest with each other.

Hmm, no, that would destroy Western civilization. Maybe we should have a private holiday, amongst our friends, like that once a year. It'd have to be a blacklight party. Maybe we can get khromat to help with decorations. :)

But in the spirit of that holiday: I suppose it's only fair to mention that you, LeDiva, and the rat were in my dreams as a group, four nights out of seven this week...

[lediva.livejournal.com]

I suppose it's only fair to mention that you, LeDiva, and the rat were in my dreams as a group, four nights out of seven this week...

*cough* Oh, really? ;)

Do tell, my dear vixen.

To quote you from antoher LJ comment...

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

*BLUSH*

On the other paw, I'm dreadfully vain, feel free to share details privately if you like. You know where to find me. :)

I just hope that it wasn't the same dream with the disturbing number...

[serendipoz.livejournal.com]

Maybe their eyes emit black light rather than your skin has damage?

tawdry wisdom

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

i like Col. Sherman Potter's take on it (to Hawkeye in the episode "Hepatitis")(paraphrased): "the only person i have to be better than is the person i am right now. and in your case, that's hard enough."

most of the time i think life's too short to worry about what others think of you. once upon a time i was guilty of it more often than i am now; i have to fight against it. i consider measuring myself by what others saw/thought/said one of my worst faults. alone, i tend to be more objective. i can see i'm not *that* bad a person. and all i have to try to be is a little better.

perhaps i am a bear of very small goals. :)

Re: tawdry wisdom

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

I try not to worry about what others think of me, in the sense that if I'm looking to base my self-identity on other people's approval, I'm doomed to fail. However, I do sometimes wonder exactly where my own blind spots are.