All in the family...

[beetiger]

We went out to my sister's house on Long Island for my nephew's fourth birthday party this afternoon. Luckily, we weren't obligated to go to the constructed plastic playspace portion of the party, but just to the relatives-getting-to-see-the-niece-and-nephews part. My brother and his wife were there with their three-month old son as well. My sister-in-law is convinced that she's birthed the uberbaby. She’s told us that he's able to say "hello" and "hungry", but the rest of us are dubious.

As has happened the last few times I've been at my sister's house, she's taken me upstairs to give me huge amounts of clothing. Hand-me-ups. I've lost quite a bit of weight (intentionally) in the last two years, and she gained weight during her second pregnancy she's pretty sure she's keeping, the net effect of this being that I'm roughly her old size. I'm very happy about this, really, as I don't like clothes shopping very much. My sister has much better fashion sense than I do, and a much greater willingness to spend a lot of money on clothing than I have. But it means I've got a rather schizophrenic wardrobe right now, the full length dresses in bright colors, the silly sarongs, the oversized sweaters, and the sturdy Land's End chinos that I order because I know they'll fit sitting next to contemporary short designer dresses in brown, black, and olive, capri length jeans, and fitted blouses with large buttons that will probably be destroyed if I throw them in the washer instead of drycleaning them. The stuff looks damned good on me, really, and gives me another opportunity to refuse to actually have a consistent style.

We don't tend to talk politics at my family gatherings, but a controversy did come up that I'm hoping you could help me clear up. When celebrating a birthday, which comes first: singing “Happy Birthday”, or blowing the candles out? Please advise.

Comments

Birthday Rite

[awolf.livejournal.com]

Not too many rites exist in contemporary culture. One of the downfalls of society, sayeth Joseph Campbell. :) We must preserve the few we have! My take: the song definitely comes first. It's a prelude to the candle-blowing portion.

Actually, traditionally, the cake is brought in (first viewed by the birthday-person), usually by the person who baked it, in a slow procession, right as the singing begins. The cake is sat down on the table near the end of the song, and immediately after the song ends, the birthday-person is instructed to make a wish (and keep it secret), then blow out the candles. After the candles are blown out, applause (if they're all blown out together). If you blow all the candles out together, and you keep your wish secret, it will come true before your next birthday. Then the cake is cut, and the birthday-person gets the first piece. (I'm afraid I don't know who is supposed to do the cutting; I think in its most recent incarnation, it might be the birthday-person, but it might also be the maker of the cake.)

These people actually don't know this??? Dear god. We live in an age of ritualistic retards. :)

Trickster

Re: Birthday Rite

[fenton.livejournal.com]

Another data point, in relatively close proximity: the cake was brought out by the Figures of Authority (such as parents, or spouse, or whoever organized the damn party), either pre-lit out of sight or set down and then lit. Then the song was sung; finally, one makes the wish and blows out the candles. Then eyes the organizers balefully when they spark and relight because they're trick candles, of course (unless, as I have done more than once, you managed to blow them out so far that they cooled beyond the re-ignition point...)

The cake is cut by said authority, and the first piece is given to the birthday celebrant. In polite parties, the celebrant refrains from eating the first bite until everyone is served, though this may be optional in some social situations; in no case, however, should anyone else take "the first bite".