In which it is suggested that I have a more recent entry without screened comments

[beetiger]

Life continues, and it nearly always does, in one form or another. My websites are not nearly busy enough. (If anyone still wants to do some holiday shopping, I'll do my darndest to get things to you on time.)

Last night, I dragged myself and Rhys to a La Leche League meeting instead of the weekly Ars Magica game, because they'd bugged me about a book I had out from their library and because I could still use some support on this whole toddler nursing thing. Left leaving angry and discouraged, as most of the women I'd found helpful in the past were not there, and the particular leader running this time was the aggressive and unsympathetic one. She told me (and the group) that even though several of La Leche's books mention this as a good idea, limiting night nursing for toddlers is "very much not recommended" and that I was likely "not meeting Rhys' basic needs and this could have very bad repercussions down the line". Right. Because nursing on demand is way more important than learning to abide by reasonable limits is for a two-year old. Also, two year olds *never* ask for anything that doesn't meet a basic need. Of course.

I know a few of you here are nursing/have nursed toddlers -- support please?

This morning I got big fuzzy down slippers, and some lovely purple and red flowers in a very very red vase just showed up. I'm hoping the big box with my big present arrives today, but probably not.

It's mariethebee's birthday today too, so people from the Sampler are spouting birthday wished for Bee all over the place and I can pretend they are for me. Also, an offline friend of mine (Hi, Yvon!) also has a birthday today, and he had a dream about giving me birthday spankings, So whee!

Comments

[collie13.livejournal.com]

Um. While I personally have no birthday spankings for you, may you receive all of them you wish, from the individuals you'd most prefer to be spanked by! ;)

[tikvah.livejournal.com]

1) Happy Birthday!

2) I'll post later to introduce you to some other women on my f-list who I'm pretty sure nursed/are nursing their toddlers, one I verify that they're OK with the introduction, and that they really did nurse/are nursing toddlers.

i can't give birth

[qilora.livejournal.com]

and probably won't ever have any kids, so i'm not sure how my opinion would come into play, but honestly i just do not see how any person on this *planet* (or any other) could possibly know more about what is best for Rhys than *you*....

i doubt anyone who wrote a book or is in that League, has spent day and night with him, and knows him better than you do....

so until someone else *does* live with him for several years and writes a book called "this is what you *have* to do for Rhys" baby-poop on them, and know your friends will be there for you...

Ulla.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

Hi, I don't know how I ran across your journal, but I'm nursing a two year old. I'm just going to do a bit of an information dump, hopefully you won't mind.

My daughter will be 2.5 at Christmas. Currently, she nurses in the morning, to sleep (night time and nap time), and irregularly throughout the day when I'm not at work. Somedays she won't nurse at all through the day.

My husband and I night weaned her about 2 months ago. She had been nursing every 1.5 - 2.5 hours throughout the night since she was born. I was exhausted. I'm sure you know the feeling. :) I was not happy with things, and I really needed some sleep. So this is what we started doing. When she woke up in the night and came into our room (she starts the night in her own room, and comes into ours a few hours later, has done this ever since we tried getting her to use her own room, I'll worry about adjusting that habit later :) ), we'd tuck her in next to my husband and I would go to her room to sleep. If I tried to sleep in the same bed with her, she'd insist on nursing and there would be crying. But if I simply disappeared, she'd usually ask, and talk about nursing a little bit with daddy, but go back to sleep without lots of tears. We told her that mommy's nurses needed to sleep at night, and she'd get them in the morning.

If we tried to make her go back to sleep in her own bed, without someone to sleep with, and without nursing, well, it'd be a cryfest, and we try to avoid having her cry. She now comes into our bed in the middle of the night, and while she occasionally asks to nurse (maybe 25% of the time) I remind her that nurses are asleep, and when she wakes up in the morning they'll be ready for her; that works very well. Rarely does she start to grab and paw and insist, and when she does I simply go into her room to sleep for the rest of the night and she willingly sleeps with her daddy.

Feel free to ask if you have any questions. I really don't think my daughter's been harmed. She *does* ask to nurse a little bit more often during the day than she did before we night weaned her, but I think that's mostly to prove to herself that they're still there, she can still nurse, they're not being taken completely away.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

Sounds like your pattern is a lot like ours -- he toddles out of his room and comes to sleep in our bed from about 2 am until morning, and we don't nurse between bedtime and first light unless something unusual is going on.

I'm not unhappy about this at all. This only came up because a pregnant woman asked some of us "oldtimers" what it was like nursing a toddler. Getting chewed out in front of a bunch of people, *and my son* who was there, for it was the part I was unhappy about.

I just need support because I'm tired, and my body doesn't really like the nursing right now -- I tend to find it kind of physically annoying.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

She chewed you out for your parenting in front of your child and a bunch of other women who were asking for guidance?

I'd call her up and give her a piece of my mind in private, were I you.

I have a friend who used to call her LLL leader a "boob nazi" for her total disrespect for anyone who didn't nurse until the age of six. Not all are like that - but it's not unreasonable to call up the other leader, tell her what happened, and that as a result, you're not coming back anytime soon. I'd also mention that if they really want women to continue nursing, sending them on massive guilt-trips is counter-productive.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was completely inappropriate, is there someone you can tell? Write a letter? Nursing is hard. Extending nursing is harder. There is no right way, except for "what works."

I'm not really thrilled with nursing either. I still let the kiddo nurse since she obviously wants to, but if she weaned, I think I'd do a little dance of happiness. It feels so horrible to say that, since we're supposed to love this bonding experience blah blah blah. I'm tired, too.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday to Beetigers everywhere. I hope it's a good day.

[sivvyswraith.livejournal.com]

Seconded and so forth.

May there be spankings enjoyed by everyone!

[foxmagic.livejournal.com]

Thirded! :-) Happy Birthday!

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

As you know, I'm still nursing a three-year-old, but it's not like I think that's the 'right' thing to do; that's just what I ended up doing with El.

I think the issue is more that of the leader acting like a jerk than what's appropriate and reasonable, which certainly your parenting is.

I think some people who are insecure about their own choices--and I'm sure many LLL people get a lot of flak from friends/family in the mainstream--have to violently react to anything that doesn't sound exactly like what they're doing. You know what's right for you and your family, and that's the important thing.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

It's morethat she feels she needs to share LLL "party line", which I guess is okay, and that she's utterly uncompassionate or flexible, which is not okay. Her kids are all adults.

[just-the-ash.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, and thanks for the card!

Both my sister and I were breastfed until we were two. I'll leave it to you to decide whether I turned out well. ;)

[creationofme.livejournal.com]

im waiting a few months till my twin neices are a lil older(they're like a month or so), then im probably gonna end up getting them some t-shirts :D
(probably to their mothers dismay)

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

These boobs have never nursed anything, but...you're one of the best damned moms out there and I think the leader is full of garbage. What you're doing for Rhys is more important than she would like to acknowledge. Learning now that there is a schedule, that it needs to be followed, and that he can't always have everything he wants when he wnats it will make him a good toddler and not one of the ones folk want to strangle.

[cktraveler.livejournal.com]

(If anyone still wants to do some holiday shopping, I'll do my darndest to get things to you on time.)

Be sure to ping me after the new year ... like, RIGHT after.

Last night, I dragged myself and Rhys to a La Leche League meeting instead of the weekly Ars Magica game, because they'd bugged me about a book I had out from their library and because I could still use some support on this whole toddler nursing thing. Left leaving angry and discouraged, as most of the women I'd found helpful in the past were not there, and the particular leader running this time was the aggressive and unsympathetic one.

If all you have is one talking point, everything looks like a counterargument. :P

[eetmewithtoast.livejournal.com]

Many happy returns of the day.