I went to the Animal Fair...

[beetiger]

I took Rhys to the Dutchess County Fair today. It was a longer drive up the Taconic than I expected, but he slept the whole way, so it wasn't really a big deal. Rhys was amazingly good the whole day, giggling at pigs and crawling around in the horticulture exhibit area and letting me drink 4H nearly-right-out-of-the-cow milkshakes and eat corn dogs and stuff, though he did eat a good portion of my pierogies and managed to swipe a bunch of fried clams. I won him a set of fuzzy dice for his stroller by looking young at the guess-your-age booth. He didn't sleep the whole day once we arrived, but he didn't whine or fuss either. He seemed like he was just having so much fun, like this was a great world he'd decided to show up for.

You know, some days I feel really kind of guilty about still being home with the baby after almost a year, doing what sort of feels like leisure activities all of the time. But today was one of those days when I just felt lucky. "While you poor fools were out making a living, I got to hear my son break out in laughter at his first carousel ride!" kind of lucky. I wouldn't trade these things for the world.

(An aside: Someone said they thought this icon looked "intimidating". Does it?)

Comments

Cool Day!

[allessindra.livejournal.com]

It sounds like it was an awesome day -- I'm glad, for you, that Rhys had such fun.

Reading over other comments, I clearly have no maternal instinct. I truly do not grok the significance of seeing the child do something for the first time. All of those things are going to happen again and again and again -- and it's the 'again' that matters more than teh 'first', as all those things are aspects of normal development, and if they only happen *once* then it is a *PROBLEM*.

I was never so happy as when my kids were in some sort of care, and *I* got to be with adults on a regular basis, and get some time when I was NOT completely and totally responsible minute by fucking minute for another living being. The children also got to widen their experience of the world, and meet new people, and interact and integrate experiences in ways I would not have been able to do, or would not have thought of.

Why is this a bad thing, and why am I considered a lesser person for it? (not necessarily you, beetiger, by other people...)

gah. rhetorical question.

Re: Cool Day!

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

It's not a bad thing! It's a different viewpoint. I'm an old-fashioned mommy-type, who has a career that meshes very well with mothering because for me, mothering comes first. (I'm a teacher.) It did, even before I was a mother. I know lots of people who decided not to take their full mat leave because it didn't mesh with the other career they had, which came first in their minds.

I must admit that I'm going to revel in the solitude when my sister-in-law takes my little girl for their weekly outing this afternoon. I do every week. I may even do something useful, like write, with that time. And I don't think I could handle being home full-time, all the time, with no income of my own, even if we could afford that. So I guess I'm sitting on the fence on this one.

We all do what's best for the people we love. That should include ourselves. If you wouldn't keep your sanity at home all day with babies, then thank whatever you hold sacred that you're no longer expected to, and others can look after your kids more professionally than you would. Bottom line - guilt has no place in this. You're doing what works for your family.

Re: Cool Day!

[bookwurm.livejournal.com]

My mother was very much the same way when my sister and I were growing up. For Mom, I think it was honestly a case of her going completely nuts if she stayed home full-time with two small children. Like you, she needed adult interaction and didn't need the "firsts." I never felt like we were less important than her career or anything like that. She did what she thought would be best for the whole family, and I cannot understand why some people consider mothers who work outside the home to be "bad people."