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Toxic (a rant from my inner dryad)
May. 16th, 2003 02:58 pmI got a postcard from a lawn service in the mail. This isn’t terribly unusual, as I do live in the suburbs, and have a lawn, and people often try to sell us services. But this postcard was sent in compliance with the New York State notification law, to tell me that our next-door neighbors are having something truly awful applied to their lawn next week, probably while I’m sitting at home recovering from amniocentesis. I’m not quite sure which pesticide or herbicide they are using, but everything I’ve heard of on the list on the card is damned nasty. And since the lawns are pretty much contiguous, I’m sure my lawn’s getting some too, probably now, in the fall when I wanted to collect the fruit from the trees in my yard, and over the next few years when Mothra would like to be out playing. So much for using my friendly dandelions for dandelion wine. I was in fact actually hoping to use my backyard some, this Memorial Day weekend.
SavaLawn “The Responsible Choice” (!) has conveniently included a card to fill out “to stop receiving these notices”, presumably by having them replaced with advertisements for their fine poisoning services.
Dandelions, violets, and crabgrass. I’m pretty sure these are the main undesirables that grow around here. We’re not farmers. There’s no crop. There’s no yield to be worried about. I’d forgive them if their house were infested with termites, but seeing as this is a lawn service, I doubt it.
I’m pretty sure these are the same neighbors who, two summers ago, left the nasty anonymous note in our mailbox accusing us of ruining the neighborhood. Arranging to have our lawn mowed had become low on the chore pile while I was not-quite-noticing that I was beginning a major depressive cycle, and apparently our house needed to be washed, too. I’m tempted to leave them a non-anonymous note about ruining the neighborhood by poisoning everyone, but I’m afraid of being harassed, or perhaps getting a reputation as a racist, since they are the only black residents on the street, and since generally pesticide application is acceptable behavior around here.
I hate suburbia.
SavaLawn “The Responsible Choice” (!) has conveniently included a card to fill out “to stop receiving these notices”, presumably by having them replaced with advertisements for their fine poisoning services.
Dandelions, violets, and crabgrass. I’m pretty sure these are the main undesirables that grow around here. We’re not farmers. There’s no crop. There’s no yield to be worried about. I’d forgive them if their house were infested with termites, but seeing as this is a lawn service, I doubt it.
I’m pretty sure these are the same neighbors who, two summers ago, left the nasty anonymous note in our mailbox accusing us of ruining the neighborhood. Arranging to have our lawn mowed had become low on the chore pile while I was not-quite-noticing that I was beginning a major depressive cycle, and apparently our house needed to be washed, too. I’m tempted to leave them a non-anonymous note about ruining the neighborhood by poisoning everyone, but I’m afraid of being harassed, or perhaps getting a reputation as a racist, since they are the only black residents on the street, and since generally pesticide application is acceptable behavior around here.
I hate suburbia.
